What’s next?


The time has come for this IVF cycle to use the famous words heard at the end of Disney cartoons –  “That’s all folks”!  My cycle kicked in with a bad-ass-punch-in-the-stomach attitude this weekend, so that calls an end to our 1st attempt at IVF.  The obvious question to follow, that seems to be on the lips of all those near and dear to us, is what’s next?  Will we give IVF another go?  Will we let go of trying now?

And the answer remains as clear as mud – aaarrrgggghhhh!  I know, it drives us crazy too.  We’re not entirely sure what comes next.  We’ve been praying ever since that awful day, last Monday, when we got our negative pregnancy test results and still don’t have an answer.  What it really all boils down to is … money!  I think I have enough strength in me to give IVF another go, however we do not have the money for it.  So far the costs have been over 60K, another round would cost us 50K.  We have about a 5th of that in savings.  If we manage to find the remaining finds, sure, we would give it another go. 

The other thing that plagues us is that time is not on our side.  As mentioned in a previous post, my ovaries are failing and I am running out of eggs.  So, we would need to move fast for another go. 

What we are doing now is watching (as the Lord told us to do) and waiting.  If He provides the money we will definitely go for it.  If not, then it’s life as per normal in the McDowell household – “Darby and Joan” and the 5 furry babies (our 3 dogs and 2 cats).  If only we could do a Richard Branson (aka: “Screw it let’s do it” – good book by the way). 

We will have to make an appointment to see the Doc this week to hear what his ideas are with regards to why this round failed.  I am not sure he will be able to say why exactly it didn’t work but it will be good to know either way.

This is not the end of meetingmolly though.  There is a lot still to digest and discuss.  And perhaps, just maybe, there are more miracles to come.

With God nothing is ever impossible and no word from God shall be without power or impossible of fulfillment. Luke 1: 37.


2 responses »

  1. Dearest Sian. My heart broke when I read this post. I could feel my heart drop to the bottom of my tummy when I read it so I can only imagine how you must have felt. I can only imagine the disappointment and the “hope deferred”. I have also asked God a few questions and whilst I sit here and contemplate, I feel Him asking me “Caryl, is it because you don’t think my Words and my Promises given to Sian and Gary are true?”. No Dad, I don’t think You make promises You don’t intend to keep.
    On the weekend, one of my devotions was the following……

    “Rejoice, O barren, you who do not bear! Break forth and shout, you who are not in labor…

    Galatians 4:27

    Barrenness. What a painful and frustrating condition. Yet, in Isaiah 54, God’s Word to those who are experiencing barrenness is to rejoice — “Sing O barren”!

    Why? Because in the previous chapter, it tells us that the chastisement for our peace fell upon Jesus. (Isaiah 53:5) The word “peace” here in Hebrew means completeness, soundness, health and prosperity. In other words, all these benefits are yours today because Jesus has already been punished at the cross for your peace. That is why you can start rejoicing.

    So God wants you right now, in whatever area you are barren, to start rejoicing as if the fruit or yield you want to see has already come. He wants you to start thinking, speaking and acting as if the barrenness is no more.

    If you are financially barren, start planning for what you would do when your finances increase. I am not saying that you go out and spend recklessly, but start making plans for wealth and increase. The time to do this is when you are still in what your natural eyes see as a barren stage.

    You may say, “You don’t understand, the banks are chasing me!”

    God says, “Rejoice because you are prosperous in Christ.” In Christ, you are already blessed with every spiritual blessing, including prosperity. (Ephesians 1:3) “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich.” (2 Corinthians 8:9)

    If you are sick, start planning to do what you have not been able to do. Don’t rejoice only when the healing manifests and the pain is no more. Rejoice now in your healing because Jesus has already borne your diseases and carried your pains, and by His stripes you have already been healed. (Isaiah 53:4–5)

    Whatever barren situation you are in, rejoice and tell God, “Father, because of the sacrifice of Your Son, I am blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ. You have already given me everything. So I am going to act like it is so and rejoice!”

    Thought For The Day
    Start thinking, speaking and acting as if your barrenness is no more.

    When I read that, the peace that I have always felt about God’s gift to you, of giving you the desires of your heart, returned. I will not believe that the time and money was “wasted”. I believe that I will meet Molly one day – when His timing is perfect. I will not give up believing that….ever!!

    Love you guys….

  2. Hey Caryl – I always look forward to your comments as they are so spiritual and always arise from time you’ve spent with our Father. Thank you for the words of encouragement. We are blessed. Daily I am reminded of God’s provision and I worship Him for it! The disappointment is going to take some time to heal, but with God’s help…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s