It was just 4 days ago that I flew out of the Docs rooms, adamantly saying NO WAYS to a laparoscopic operation. Now I am booked to go under the knife tomorrow morning.
What happened?! God happened.
Let me tell you firstly, that I have had NO / nada / zilch support from friends and family to my line of thinking of quitting. Just yesterday my boss gave me a stern talking about the importance of carrying-on, I hadn’t even got into my office when I broke down about the cysts and possibly needing the operation, she told me to just do it! Then my Mum gave me an earful (typical mums) in the afternoon insisting that I had to keep going, not just for myself but for Gary too (it’s MY body I wanted to selfishly point out). So I caved and hesitantly phoned the Doc’s rooms to enquire about the cost and possibility of doing it soon – it’s school holidays next week and as I work at a school the timing would be perfect. From October through to June next year things are way way way to frenetic at work to even consider going on sick leave for an op. They would get back to me on cost and dates. In the interim, this morning I woke up to a barrage of sms-es from family and friends who, unaware of my call to the Docs rooms, sms-ed me encouragement to go for it. Along with the encouragements were scripture verses (Job 23: 1-12 and Isaiah 40: 12-31) that spoke volumes to us. And then, to really seal the deal, I opened an email at work from a dear friend-in-infertility who, also unaware of our intent, encouraged me to keep going. All this gave me enough courage to call the Docs rooms to hurry their decision. Tomorrow it is!
Oh, and we had to pay upfront and it was not a pretty figure. I broke down, phoned my dear couple who offered to help pay and apologised profusely for having to call on them to help for this op. They were overjoyed to help and so the Doc is paid up and good for go. Gary sadly pointed out that by paying so much for this op, we will then REALLY not be able to afford any further IVF treatments, I bravely told him that we have to take one day at a time and if God wills it, he will provide. Even though I broke down, I prayed fervently for God’s guidance. Within minutes (literally no more than 10 minutes later) we had an email from our Church minister informing us that a couple at our church are sending some money our way for our treatments – AGAIN we had not told him or anyone about our intention to go for the surgery! The timing was God-incidence not coincidence.
For the first time in WEEKS we are hearing word from our Lord and it feels heavenly! To know that we are doing the Lord’s will…wow! It tears me up. Who would have thought. I really did not think that this surgery was the right move for me and was adamant that I would NOT do it. As I often say – “You wanna make God laugh? Tell him YOUR plans!” 🙂