His Word…


I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36: 26

This passage speaks directly to my heart and spirit.  I am so deflated after all our attempts to have a baby which have failed.  It could be so easy to get bitter and to harden my heart in this difficult time.  Infertility is such a hurtful condition.  Everywhere I look there are pregnant mommas and cute little toddlers, it tears my heart a bit every time.

I was just thinking this morning how I need to again harden my heart to wanting children and to move on.  It’s the usual rollercoaster of emotions and I don’t want to hurt anymore.  I was thinking to focus instead on doing up our home (I am a decorholic) and focusing more on our marriage (which is a good thing regardless).  I was thinking how I must again start thinking on all the pros of not having children so that I can feel the joy of us being just “Darby and Joan”.  I was thinking to harden my heart to babas.

Oh Lord, how I need a fresh heart, that isn’t bruised and broken, that doesn’t break so easily everytime I see other people’s joy of parenthood.  Give me a fresh heart Lord, a heart from and a heart for you.


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