A short cycle and short temper

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My recent cycle kicked in balancing out the long cycle I had last month.  Last month I had a never-experienced-before 31 day cycle; so naturally the pendulum had to swing the other way this month and it yielded a pathetic 16 day cycle – did my body not even try to have a normal cycle?!?!  I mean, what was that?!?! 

*sigh*

Really not sure why it was so short this month and so long last month.  The one possibility is that this month’s cycle stemmed from the ovary that is failing quicker than the other, causing the shorter cycle this month.  We’ll have to see if this is a pattern though before we can fully assume this line of reasoning. 

This is now my shortest cycle so far, recently I have gone down to 18 day cycles.  16 days now makes me a bit nervous.  I can’t help but feel that this is a sure sign that my impending early menopause is around the corner and to be honest it is a little scary.  I am totally not the type who panics about getting older, seriously!  But on fertility lines, once I hit menopause, the chances of me EVER getting pregnant are pretty much zilch – outside of a miracle of course. 

So, it would seem logical to make a mad dash back to the Doc and beg for another round of IVF.  However, I don’t feel any desire to do this at this stage – bizarre!  In fact, about a week ago I emailed the Doc (well I had to email one of the ladies at the clinic and ask her to send my mail onto him, as I don’t have a direct email address for him) to say a million thanks for all their care and attention with us and to say a very sad farewell.  In the letter, we told the Doc how sorry we were that we could not go through with his next IVF programme he had drawn up for us – due only to a lack of funds.  I had kinda hoped he would offer to reduce our programme cost (a friend who is with the same doc told us that had done this a couple of times for them and suggested we ask, I couldn’t do that outright) but alas – no response!  Not even an acknowledgment of our note.  I did however subsequently get two love notes from the Doc’s rooms asking for outstanding balances on my recent laparoscopy that our medical aid did not cover.  Boy was I an unhappy bunny!  Not the kind of response I was hoping for.  It really hurts that the only responses to our letter of thanks and farewell were two bills. 

So for now, things remain quiet on the home front, we continue to wait (as per the Lord’s instructions to me), pray and hope for some direction from God.

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3 responses »

  1. Hey there – haven’t commented in a while because I dont really know what to say at this specific time. But rather than be silent know how much you are both in my prayers and how much love is being sent your way. As Annie sang – “the sun will come out” even if it is not specifically tomorrow! love ya

  2. Thanks Nins. You’re not the only one being quiet, I’ve been quiet in posting as we too don’t know what to say at present. Quiet times are often good for the soul though so am trying to embrace it while waiting for that sunny day! Loads of love and thanks for always lending us your support.

  3. I can see you are upside down with your mind whirring around my Boo! Like you, I always want direction and decision and like going forward. I am not a good waiting person and still bump my head often. In my readings this week I am being encouraged to trust in the Lord. he will give us what we need – maybe not what we want but definitely what we need. As long as we believe that – we will live as He wants us to live and leave the rest to Him because He can do what we can’t! Lots of love my Boo!

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