Currently, I am trying to take things one day at a time and trying not to let any of adoption struggles stress me out. There is so much that could be a bother during this whole adoption process.
Of particular concern is the fact that our Social Worker keeps reminding us that our baby girl, Lindiwe (her name is Lindelwe but we kinda prefer the shorter, easier on the tongue version of Lindiwe), is nowhere near ready for adoption. There seem to be so many obstacles in getting her to that point – if I give it too much thought I will become a bundle of nerves.
So for now, I keep trusting in the Lord. If this little lass is meant for our family, then this is all part of our Lord’s BIG PLAN for us. This delay may well be in place to give us the time we need to get all our papers in order and get onto the Register of Adoptive Parents. God will make a way, I do believe this. Amazingly, I am not too worried at this point – usually I am a stress bucket in situations which are out of my control. However, I can almost feel God’s hand at play in all this.
As today’s scripture reads –
‘I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.’ John 12:24
I need to make sure I die to worry, let it go, let Lindiwe go in a sense, releasing her to the Lord. How does that saying go? – “If you love someone, set them free, if it is meant to be they will come back to you”. Part of me has released Lindiwe to our Lord, into His care. Naturally, we are not giving up on her, we are still down to pursue adopting her as and when we can and I still long for her, eagerly wanting to visit with her again. But for now, we wait and watch (a recurring step along this infertility journey) and ensure that we keep on top of all of our adoption paperwork, filling it in and submitting it as speedily as possible!
What’s next? Tomorrow is the second of our eight sessions with our Social Worker to get our paperwork in order. Can’t wait, each session is one step closer to becoming a family.