Somehow, we had naively thought that we were leaving the really tough stuff behind when we decided to abandon fertility treatments and go the adoption route. I mean, fertility treatments are ROUGH, so it seemed almost obvious that adoption was the easier option. Ha! I declare that adoption is as hard on the emotions as fertility treatments, and in sometimes feels harder. Who knew!
Why? Well, the whole process is lengthy, almost unnecessarily so, requiring months of Social Workers seeking extended family members of the abandoned baby and months of searching for a same race family to adopt the child (all very well if you are black but for white people this is the hard part as there are almost no white babies available). What I face daily is the agony of not knowing how long this will take; the frustrations of dealing with a government that puts all sorts of unnecessary stipulations on adoptions; the hurt at being discriminated against in the process because our skins are white and ultimately the pain of empty arms when I KNOW that out there are a number of unwanted babas wanting arms to hold them!
Adoption is not the easy option!
We totally get now why so many couples go the private adoption agency route. Dealing with adoptions through local networks is tough and challenging. It seems you get what you pay for – the more you pay for Social Workers, the better the service. Pay for private and you will be assisted swiftly, don’t pay and go through your local child welfare or the likes and you will not get far any time soon, or so it seems. So, we’re trying for the best of both, a balanced approach we hope – we are going with local children’s homes but using Social Workers in private practice, locally.
Every morning I eagerly open my emails to check the daily scripture verse – I have been so nourished by these this year and today’s is a reminder to me to keep my spirit up:
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. Proverbs 17:22
I’ve gotta keep my big-girl-boots on and keep my chin up.