Nursery or no nursery?!


This is a hot question for me at the mo and I think is a good question.  When you are seeking your baby through adoption, do you or don’t you have the nursery set and ready?!

In our home, the nursery has been set for some weeks now.  We did this because we were advised to take a picture of a nursery to include in our Portfolio that we are putting together for birth-mothers looking for adoptive parents for their babies.  So the stage has been set and is just about ready, even though there is no baby on the horizon – is this normal?

We’ve since decided not to include a photo in the Portfolio, so the question that lingers around our passage outside the nursery is … do we or don’t we pack it all up?  On the one hand, there is an excitement in seeing a nursery in our home, with our beautiful kelim rug on the floor, some of our favourite art on the walls, the crib so kindly carried over to our home by our wonderful neighbours – looking charming with a bright pink blanket draped over one side … there is a sense of hope in seeing this room ready to welcome our baby home.  Then on the other hand there are times I walk past the room and seeing all that WITHOUT a baby is like a sharp knife to the heart and old insecurities bubble up – “will we ever have a baby?”, “am I living in a dream world?”.

I don’t know the answer to this topic of discussion.  It also depends what kind of day I’m having and what kind of mood I’m in.  Today, for example, I’m leaning more towards putting it all away and making the room an adult library for now, filled with our favourite books and our spare, comfy couch for chillin’ on.  I know the room can be quickly reassembled into a nursery when we know that we are expecting a baby.  BUT (and here is the emotional yo-yo at play again) part of me isn’t sure if I have the heart to put it all away.  By doing this, in a sense, it feels like we are packing away the hope that it will happen…soon.

It’s more than just furniture and stuff, it’s emotional – and that, my friends, is where the cookie crumbles.

Have a good weekend x


7 responses »

  1. it’s nice to have the “hope” of the baby in a physical way. if it were me I would keep it up, I mean, since you already set it up!

    • 7 years?! I am in awe! The strength you had to keep going… It’s been 5 years for us. I really look forward to the day when the room will be filled with the sights, smells and sounds of a baby. Thank you for your honest response, so encouraging and so appreciated. It is great to share and know that we are not alone. God bless.

  2. We needed the nursery. And the shopping. And the random outfits/onesies/blankets to reorganize and sort and “play” with. The project gave us something tangible during the wait. It was our therapy. 🙂

    • Hi Adoptionista! Thanks so much for responding and sharing your feelings – it helps so much to know how others (who have been here) handle things. 🙂

      • Sure 🙂 I think you have to do whatever helps you feel better. Some of our friends who have adopted couldn’t decorate the nursery at all until the baby came home, they needed the permanency first. For us, we needed something to DO that was in our control. 🙂

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