I made my decision Friday afternoon on the hot issue of a nursery or no nursery.
Shortly after I got home, I had an sms from my folks to tell me that family friends had just had their second baby, a little girl, they names Grace Eleanor.
Well that was the straw that broke the camel’s back – I made a bee line for the nursery and began dismantling the cot. I flat packed it, popped it into the garage, slipped the mattress into an unused hanging closet, packed the nursery’s decorative items away in the cute storage boxes intended for toys and ensured that it was ALL out of sight.
Suddenly it seemed as though I could breath more deeply! A weight was lifted and I felt … relief. A little grey cloud that had hovered over me and the connection I had with the room evaporated and I felt a little of my old self return. Encouraged by this, I promptly proceeded to scoot the furniture around and within half an hour I had a fabulous, lazy, library – with a charming view of the garden from the couch.
It is a wonderful room regardless of its purpose, the light is always perfect, the feel is cozy and no matter what it will always be special. For now, at least, I can use the room, enjoy it and feel content with where Gary and I are at the moment in our lives. Gary likes the library too – I found him comfortably ensconced on the couch there this morning, with our miniature dachshund doing Bible study together, it was a precious sight. I think it is a weight off for both of us. We’ve been so caught up in all the adoptions screenings and plans that we haven’t felt like our normal selves in a while now. PLUS – I can just picture the excitement when we know that a baby is coming our way and we can reinstate the nursery in sheer exhilaration.
Everyone is different and I know a lot of (stronger) people support the nursery idea and find it encouraging, I did too for a while. The pendulum swings both ways and we try not to fight it, so for now it’s a library but maybe next month…who knows 🙂